Listen up, you pussy-hatted crybabies. Despite all your yapping and yawing about a president with “qualifications” and “government experience” and “a semblance of tact and human dignity,” Mr. Donald J. Trump is the leader of the land of the free, and no amount of #NotMyPresident tweets can change that. It’s time to set aside your whiny little Medium thinkpieces and cross-stitched pillows and unite with the silent majority of this country in its quest to restore our great nation to its mid-twentieth-century glory. C’mon, give Trump a chance.
The man’s a wildly successful businessman, a nearly profligate philanthropist, and a reliably eloquent public speaker. He treats women with respect, veterans with reverence, and his opponents with the utmost class. Most importantly, he speaks his mind, whether it’s on his Twitter account or during a phone call with one of the United States’ allies. Can you understand why the majority of Americans if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally elected him into the world’s most powerful office, yet?
If not, it’s really too bad. Trump’s already here! And his first three weeks as president have only proved what melodramatic dummies his critics are.